Birthday Parties For All Ages

The first half of the year is a very busy time for birthdays in our household as all of my children's range from January to July, interspersed with various adult relatives' as well.

The birthday roll-call starts with DS1 on 29th January (trying not to forget DH's nephew's on 27th!), closely followed by DS3 on 23rd February (again, trying to remember DH's sister on 18th, and now my lovely new sil on 15th!). Then there is a bit of a gap until DD's on 21st April but we still have my brother's birthday to celebrate on 18th March! Since my friendship with madmumof7, we have also discovered that her DS5 was born on 24th February (read about her DS here) and DD2 is on the same day as my DD so we have had a few joint birthday celebrations over the years!
After my other brother's birthday on 25th April, we then have a couple of month's breather until DS2's on 21st July (but I must not forget DH's neice's on 8th July!)

Although my parents have never been ones to make a fuss over birthdays as we became adults, I am still very much a firm believer in making a huge fuss of said person and don't understand people who don't do anything to celebrate. We had our tea parties when we were very young, homemade cake and everything, but I remember one year when I was about 13 actually wrapping up some beauty items I had bought at the local pharmacy for myself the day before my birthday and putting them next to my bed ready to open the following morning! Well, at least I got presents I wanted!
Since then, I have always planned my own birthday celebrations, doing something that makes me happy, which invariably involves lots of friends, dancing and laughter, and, later in life, a tipple or two!

Getting raucous at DS1's 11th birthday party

When DS1 was approaching his first birthday, I got very excited being able to plan a party for my baby. Yes, I know he was only one and had no idea what was going on, but it meant I could invite my friends and have an excuse to eat party food and cake! I bought boy-themed plates, cups, banner and napkins, squashed all my friends into our tiny living room and dining room and made them all sing happy birthday to my bewildered boy. They were generous in their present giving and many of the toys and books given lasted for all of my children. (When I had to finally part with some of the baby toys, I had a sentimental moment remembering who had given them and was quite sad to let them go.)
DS2 and 3 got the same treatment when they turned 1 and then 2. Having a July baby with DS2 was lovely as we could host a big bbq in the garden, inviting family and everyone we knew, and spent a lovely day chilling with a glass of wine or beer whilst the kids hurtled about in the garden. I bought a small bouncy castle for DS2's second birthday and had a mini climbing frame with tunnel already (DS2 was an active child!) and a playhouse filled with toys, so they had a whale of a time.
In their early years I had no need to invite children from nursery or school as all my friends were having kids so we had a good enough parent-to-child ratio, but when DS1 started being invited to parties himself I realised I would have to return the favour.
Parties at the local Kid Zone was the popular choice at that time, an all-in price including tea (with a choice of hot or cold food), invitations, drinks and an hour for the kids to enjoy the soft play, bouncy areas, tunnels, climbing and slides. All we had to provide was a cake and party bags. I like to think that I provided quality party bags in the early days before my enthusiasm waned - I thought carefully about the children attending and selected age appropriate, quality gifts. I used an on-line website for most of the selection and each party bag was different according to child and gender - I wanted the kids to be really pleased with what they got! So DS1 and 2 got a few Kid Zone parties before the noise and worry of injury got the better of me and we turned to other options.

DS3 having fun at his joint
bowling party for his
7th birthday

Bowling parties became popular and a real favourite with DS3 and, although all my boys could swim and attended a few swimming parties, the thought of being responsible for other people's children in water made me too nervous so I never hosted one!
We had a few simple tea parties where, instead of inviting the whole class, they chose 4 or 5 of their best friends and we did party games (pass-the-parcel, musical statues/bumps, pin-the-tail etc) or they were just happy hanging out.

DD enjoying a small joint tea party with madmumof7's DD2

One disastrous year, DS2 whose birthday fell in July, had invited all the boys in his class and we had planned football and running races outside, only for typical English weather to do what it does best and rain us out! 8 boys plus my 3, all trapped indoors, getting loud and running round madly was not my idea of fun! Never again.
Some years we have managed to "get away" with hosting a party - last year DS3's birthday fell in half term so we got together with madmumof7 and celebrated his and her DS4's birthday by watching the Lego movie and enjoying a Chinese buffet afterwards. And most years we stick to family celebrations only for DS2 as his birthday falls in the summer holidays.

Relatively calm after watching the movie!

However, in the last couple of years now the boys are older, we have stumbled onto a couple of the easiest and cheapest parties ever. When DS1 was 11 he requested a movie party where we simply bought a DVD movie of choice, laid on some popcorn (done in the microwave) and fizzy drinks, and after the movie fed them all pizza (bought from the local supermarket). Party bags consisted of a £1 box of maltesers each (an idea stolen from another mum) and job done! We repeated this twice for DS3 and DS2 has requested it for this year. As long as the movie is chosen well (action and explosions always good for boys), they will sit quietly for an hour and a half to two, quick feed and you're done - result!
Now that my eldest are in secondary school, they seem to have a smaller group of good friends anyway, so when DS1 asked if he could have a sleepover for his birthday and was only inviting two boys, I was more than happy. They enjoyed an afternoon of gaming, pizza for tea (we splashed out on takeaway this time!) and, although they didn't get much sleep, I didn't hear a peep out of them. And, of course, they are too old for party bags so that was one less job!
I would happily do that type of party as it meant very little work for me and they had a great time, which is the most important.

A day out with just the family for DS3's 8th birthday

Over the year's my children have been lucky to be invited on a huge range of parties, but some must have been ridiculously expensive. As well as those already mentioned, there have been Quaser laser parties, pizza making, a party on a farm complete with horse rides, all normally with the whole class invited. Lovely, but we just couldn't afford to do that four times a year! I remember thinking when they were little, what happened to the simple tea parties we had when we were that age? There's no rule saying you have to invite everyone, wouldn't the children prefer to celebrate with their actual friends in their own house rather than having to host it elsewhere just so everyone gets included?

We managed to do a few big parties in the past, but now they're getting older I think I will just keep it small and simple!

The only time the whole class was invited,
another joint birthday party with madmumof7's DD2

The two birthday princesses!

What Kind of Mother Am I?

After reading madmumof7's hilarious post comparing the mother she planned to be and the mother she turned out to be, I thought it was a great idea for a post where we share our experiences.

Hopefully, by reading mine and other mother's experiences, you'll let go of the guilt slightly when you do or say "less than perfect mother" things!

Breast feed my children for at least 6 months

We all were told "breast is best" at the prenatal visits and groups, lovely pictures of mother and baby feeding were plastered on clinic walls looking all serene and happy, the benefits of breast milk as opposed to bottle food was spelt out in all the baby literature/books and my own mother had happily fed me and my brothers herself for months so I knew that was the way I wanted to go. 

I also knew there was a chance of sore nipples, latching on problems and of the worst case scenario of getting mastitis, but naively I thought I would overcome anything - after all, it was the natural thing to do so how hard could it be?!

Well, how wrong was I?!!

When DS1 was encouraged into the world by the aid of forceps, I was slightly out of it having been in labour for 19 hours, epiduralled up to the eyeballs and had to have my 3rd degree tear sewn up (sorry!) so I didn't get to hold him until much later. When I finally got a chance to feed him I was sooo tired I couldn't latch him on, even with a midwife's help, so they persuaded me to allow them to give him a bottle, adamant that I would still be able to breast feed later.

I stayed in hospital for 3 days until they were satisfied I would be ok to feed him at home so I persevered with the breast feeding. By the end of week one my nipples were so sore despite using the recommended cream and letting them "air out" regularly that I cried at the mere thought of the next feeding time.

I don't remember any midwife offering advice, although it may have been because I never mentioned the problems I was having, so for 4 months I soldiered on, determined to give my baby the "best start" despite the agony I was in both mentally and physically.

Finally, I admitted defeat, and DH bought bottles, steriliser and milk powder and we began the new routine of sterilising bottles and making up the milk. But the relief I felt was amazing - my nipples healed and DH could share the feeding times so it was win-win all round! 

When DS2 was born 19 months later I was ready to try again with the breast feeding but this time it was so different! Although I was induced again, I had a normal labour with only one injection of pethadine just before he popped out and put into my arms for a cuddle. Instinctively, reacting to his crying, I whipped him to my breast and he latched on enthusiastically and fed happily for ages. I'll never forget the huge surge of joy mixed with smugness as I sat on the sofa at home the day after he was born, simultaneously feeding him whilst tucking into pizza with my free hand! I had finally become the breast feeding mum I'd always wanted to be! 

I fed him for 6 months with no soreness or problems, only stopping because he cut his first tooth and I did not relish the whole biting/nipple situation.

He didn't suffer from any colic, my supply was so good that, feeling I was wasting the breast milk that gushed from one as I fed him on the other, I discovered plastic breast cups that would collect the milk as he fed which I could pour into ice cube trays and feeeze to be used later in weaning! I also got into a routine of sleeping topless at night so a) simple to latch him on in the night and b) gave them a good airing for several hours. I just needed a muslin to hand to cover the other breast as I fed him otherwise I ended up soaking DH with my other boob as the milk let down!

DS3 fed just as well, latched on perfectly so no soreness, and I would even answer the front door with him latched on I felt so confident, very Earth Mother!

When DD arrived four years later I was quietly confident, having thought I'd cracked the breast feeding lark, and she seemed to latch on well after birth. When I got home and a few days in, however, DD started getting agitated when feeding. She would give a few sucks and then pull off and cry, so I would put her back on only for her to the same again. By the end of the feed, I was very sore and she was not happy. After persevering for a couple more weeks and a visit to the health visitor she was not putting on weight and I was very stressed. They suggested I borrowed an electric breast pump so I could try feeding her my milk with a bottle so I gave it a go. Feeling a bit like a farmer's cow, I attached myself to the machine and watched alarmingly as my breast was sucked into the cup, elongating it to an amusing cone shape! 5 minutes in and a paltry amount of milk was collected in the bottle. Giving it another 10 minutes and it was obvious not much more was coming out so I detached myself and realised this could be why DD was getting so cross. I don't know if my supply was low because of DD's impatience not allowing the milk to flow but it obviously just wasn't happening so I swapped to bottles and never looked back. DD grew into a healthy, happy toddler and I was definitely less stressed!
So, if this tale's anything to go by, every child is different and more often than not it's down to the child, not the mother, if breast feeding is successful. Guilt-ridden mothers, be free!

Wean my children only on food made by myself, all organic and healthy
When DS1 approached weaning age (4 months was recommended at this time), I bought myself the Annabel Karmel Baby and Toddler Meal Planner book and was ridiculously excited by the ready-made timetables laying out exactly when and what foods to give your child from 4 months to a year and beyond. I love to be organised and follow the rules so it was perfect for me! Pouring through the many recipes to make, I selected a few that sounded nice and whipped up a few batches, dutifully storing them in labelled small plastic pots to freeze for when needed. The fruit puree based ones were DS1's favourite, some I mixed with baby rice for a more creamier base, and he wolfed these down eagerly. I was invited to lunch by a former work colleague and friend at the very posh golf club opposite the office, and smugly brought out one of my homemade pots for his lunch. The first disaster occurred when I requested the pot be warmed in the microwave as it was still frozen. I was unaware of the power difference in an industrial microwave compared to my one at home and returning to the table was handed a scalding hot pot of food. DS1 was getting rather hungry and vocal about it so I quietened him with bread sticks whilst I frantically blew on the pot to cool it down. Finally, when it was cool enough to eat, I noticed my friend frowning at the pot with a face which looked much like disgust. "What is that?" she enquired, to which I replied "homemade watercress, potato and courgette - rich in calcium and iron", a bit piously. Ok, it didn't look great, but I love courgette and was sure it would go down well. Suffice to say, DS1 was not impressed. Mouthful number one came straight back out and he spent the rest of the time avoiding the spoon. I thought I would try it to see what the problem was but I have to admit it was truly horrible! So, we kept him happy with finger food and a pot of pureed fruit that I had brought as well and that recipe was marked down in the book as a definite "sad face" never to be made again.
Working my way through most of the recipes, half of them that I made for DS1 he refused to eat, and I became quite despondent about the time it took to prepare these foods only to have to throw it away.
When DS2 came along, I threw in the towel and used *shock, horror* shop-bought jars for the majority of his meals! I don't know if it means anything, but DS1 was a really fussy eater as a toddler and DS2 ate everything you gave him - go figure!
I still used the book with DS3 and DD but was much more relaxed, and reached a happy balance between nutritional balanced foods, either shop bought or home made. To this day still use the recipe for macaroni cheese night and the cupcake recipe at the back!
And DS1 is now a strapping 5ft 8" already at only aged 14 so I don't think his fussy traits as a baby/toddler have hindered his growth at all!

I hope you enjoyed these anecdotes, I certainly enjoyed my trip down memory lane!

All enjoying their food at a well known chicken restaurant!