What's the Story?

This picture makes me smile as it reminds me of a lovely night away, sans kids, visiting one of my best girl friends.

We get together on a fairly regular basis but, as she now lives a couple of hours' drive away, it tends to be about every 4 months. Finding a date we can all do can be hard work as we're all so busy but, whenever we get a date agreed, I so look forward to it!

She is a fabulous host, from making sure we are fed and watered properly down to complimentary toiletries (once, we actually got chocolates on our pillows!). She has a beautiful home, which is fortunately very spacious as there's normally a whole group of us descending on her for the night! Her hubby is more than gracious about having his home taken over by a bunch of cackling, over-excited females, even going so far as moving out to the mother-in-law's with the baby so we had the house to ourselves (or perhaps that sounded a better option than staying?!)

We always have tons of fun with non-stop laughing,  no matter who the mix of the group is (old friends, new friends, work friends or her cousins!), with a night out in her town, either drinks or a meal (and drinks!) and maybe a visit to the local "nightclub" if we've had a few too many (it's an awful place!)


Despite popping out many children over the years, I have always tried to keep up with my friends' nights out and have rarely missed our get togethers. Having a laid back, capable DH helped as I knew I could leave the kids in safe hands, and he never seemed to mind my nights out/away - a happy wife is a happy hubby I guess!


But seriously, us mums need to find time for us, to remember who we are without the kids, and to let our hair down once in a while - I know it keeps me sane! So this photo, which was taken at our last gathering a few weeks ago, is a reminder to myself to celebrate being me, and to say "Cheers!" to the the fabulous friends I am lucky to have in my life!

Magic Moments - my little ballet dancer

After another mad Tuesday dash of school run, ballet, Tesco shop and ballet again, I turned up to fetch DD and caught the last five minutes of her ballet lesson. Normally, the parents have to wait in the kitchen area of the hired hall so we don't distract the six budding ballerinas from their lesson, but as they only had a few minutes left I figured it was okay to stand and watch. The music played and they all went through the steps beautifully, but my eyes were fixed firmly on DD.

DD is on the left

It suddenly struck me how well she was dancing compared to the other girls, something I hadn't really noticed before when I stayed for their end of term performances. Of course, she and one other girl have been dancing since they were 4, and the other girls only joined a few months ago so she should be dancing better than them, but I think she's really improved in the last few months. Her hair was neatly up in a bun, she was wearing the official RAD Primary ballet pink leotard and skirt (she has her first exam in a few weeks), and her legs looked so strong as she pointed her toes. She had a smile on her face and I couldn't quite believe this was my daughter and how lucky I was. Needless to say I was one proud mummy!

My girlie girl

Having a daughter after having three boys was the icing on the cake to our growing family and, at one point, something I thought would never happen. Of course I love my boys and if number 4 had been another boy I would have loved him no less, but I secretly hoped I would get the chance to be a mum to a girl, if only to experience the difference. Lots of people warned me how girls were more hard work than boys but I looked forward to the challenge - after 3 boys I was ready for a change.

I prepared myself for a daddy's girl, a tomboy and a child less cuddly than the boys, all things I had been warned about by well-meaning friends. Not that I minded, I just wanted to be ready to accept my girl for who she was, not someone I imagined or dreamed about when having a daughter.

When we found out we were having a girl, we had the room painted pink and I indulged, with glee, in pretty baby girl clothes (even though I knew friends and family would give clothes when she was born). We bought a new red stroller (just in case the sonographer had made a mistake!) and I looked forward to having some girls' toys around the house.

After the first few weeks of struggling with breast feeding, giving up and swopping to bottles, the rest of the baby years were fantastic. Whether it was being more experienced and knowing the sleepless nights would get better, or that knowing she was my last and how quickly it would all go so I took more time to enjoy being with her, I don't know. I just remember being much more relaxed with it all and wishing I had been this chilled with the boys. I guess having the oldest two at school full-time and DS3 at nursery helped as, once the school run was finished, it was like having an only child for a few hours instead of juggling two toddlers and a baby - a breeze!

As a baby she was very much a mummy's girl, liking nothing more than cuddling up with her dummy (dee-dee) and muslin (muzzy), one arm under mine, the other nestled in my jumper. As she got older, I was prepared to be replaced by daddy but it was still me she came to for anything - if she got hurt or upset or just wanted a cuddle. She would often give me kisses on my nose, copying what I did to her, so sweet! DH and I would try to take it in turns to put her to bed but she often asked for mummy to do it!

Even now she's 6, she still comes to me for a cuddle or to give me a kiss, and asks me to tuck her in more often than daddy. If she has a bad dream at night, she will come to my side of the bed even though it's furthest from the door, and loves to snuggle up in our bed.

Athough we painted her room pink, I was fully prepared for her to turn out to be a tomboy being as she was the youngest of four with 3 older brothers, which I wouldn't have minded. I was the oldest with 3 younger brothers so knew what it was like! She was naturally quite outgoing and active so she mastered the climbing frame at an early age (I couldn't watch when she used to climb up to the slide!), and joined her brothers in their boisterous games, unpeturbed. Her brothers all doted on her and she had them wrapped round her finger, bossing them around. It made me smile at how confident and unafraid she was, this little bit of a girl joining in their games with the other boys in the neighbourhood! 

As she got older she became particularly interested in my make-up and nail varnish, leading to a number of messy events. I quickly learnt not to leave my bag of nail varnish in reach as, every time, I would return to find her doing her own nails. Not so much nails as whole hand/foot and clothing! I had to move my make-up drawer to a higher one as, once she was tall enough, she would gleefully help herself. We could never go past the make-up aisle in Boots without DD trying the sample eye shadows and blushers which led to some very odd looks as we walked back to the car with DD plastered in an odd combination of colours! 

As a baby I would obviously choose her clothing and I admit there was a lot of pink involved, but when she was old enough to dress herself I let her choose and even encouraged her to pick out new clothes at the shops so her wardrobe wasn't all mummy's choice! However, she still swayed towards pretty girlie outfits and she loved party dresses, more sparkly the better! Now, she chooses all her outfits and is developing quite a cool style with the essential accents of pinks and glitter.

Toy-wise, obviously there were lots of boys toys knocking around which were just as suitable for a girl to help with development through play, but after a few birthdays and Christmasses an assortment of dolls, strollers, tea sets and pink teddy bears began to take over and, although she could choose cars, trains or construction toys, she naturally gravitated towards the more traditional girls' items.

So, 6 years on, my DD is affectionate and cuddly, still a mummy's girl and very much a girlie girl, everything I could have wanted. Yes, she can be a challenge sometimes and I there will be times we will fall out as she's so stubborn, but I love her feistiness, her caring nature and her determination, even when it can turn into battles. She is a daughter to be proud of!

Her first proper ballet clothes

Silent Sunday

Spooky Fun

Although Halloween was a week ago, I thought I would write about what we got up to as I had so much fun!

I first really got into Halloween when the boys were at primary school and Chloe was about a year old. I thought it would be really fun to decorate the porch whilst they were at school to surprise them when they got home so, leading up to the 31st, I hit the shops in search of spooky decorations. I was surprised at the huge range of Halloween themed items available, mostly from our infamous pound shops which made it relatively cost effective - lucky, as I got rather carried away!




Chloe was unpeturbed as Mummy wrestled with mountains of fake cobwebs and dangly skeletons, happy to use a rubber bat as a chew toy whilst she slid around in her baby walker.





I was having a whale of a time and chuckled when DH arrived home early and had to navigate his way through the front door!

Spooky treats baked ourselves

Pumpkins were carved and I even carefully cut out the inside to use late for pumpkin soup and pie, keeping the seeds after washing them to use in craft activities. (Well, that was the plan but I think I ended up throwing most of it away when I ran out of time!)
The end result gave the desired effect and the boys were delighted at my efforts!

They got excited about dressing up and looked great in their costumes, even letting Mummy apply some face paint.

DS2 enjoying Halloween party food

My Halloween carrot!

With an invitation to a neighbour's Halloween party, I couldn't wait to show Chloe off in her cute pumpkin costume, even though she resembled more of a carrot!






After such a successful Halloween, my enthusiasm grew and every year I added to my collection of decorations. As the children got bigger, a new costume was bought for DS1 and the existing costumes were passed down in age, and I delighted in thinking up new ways of celebrating.

All ready to go!

DS3 pleased with his sweetie haul

DD proudly showing her "spider"
made of a tea cake and Matchmakers!

Some years we went trick or treating with the neighbourhood children, other times we invited friends and their children over for a party, and in more recent years we would start the evening at our local church with a Light Up the Dark event which was a mix of art and craft activities, apple bobbing and fun food-making, like apples dipped in chocolate. It was Messy Church without the focus on spooks and ghouls and more about warming, traditional autumnal      
activities, literally lighting up those dark winter nights.

After a warming cup of hot chocolate and a hot dog, we would walk back through the village with the children of madmumof7 so the kids had a chance to add to their sugar high by doing some trick or treating, knocking on any doors that looked remotely Halloween-y. Then it was back home with a quick stop-off at our next-door neighbours' who always insist on seeing the children in their Halloween glory (they love Halloween too!). 

Last year I decided to combine Halloween with my birthday celebrations, wanting to see what other people would dress up as and giving me an excuse to hire a hall and a disco to go the whole hog!

In a Halloween decor shopping frenzy I had a great excuse to go even more overboard and picked up some great table decorations as well as more cobwebbing to cover the hall. I spent hours searching on the internet for drink and food ideas (this was before Pinterest!) and giving the DJ a list of suggestions for themed songs to play. There was so much scope if you use your imagination!

Me with my lovely
corpse groom!

Next I had to sort out an outfit for me and DH and after a browse on ebay, I got excited by the idea of a corpse bride and groom. ebay was full of Halloween costumes but the best ones were proper dresses that people had turned into costumes. After a bit of searching I found a white prom dress that someone had bought from Bhs and made it gruesome by adding brown and green paint, splashes of red and a bit of creative ripping - perfect!

Then I had a rummage in DH's wardrobe and found an old woollen suit jacket, some old suit trousers and a really old shirt which already had a nice bit of dust and mould on it to add to the effect! I may have enjoyed cutting up his clothes a little too much, but after adding a bit of fake blood and paint it looked great.

Roping in my lovely friends to help decorate the hall on the day, we soon transformed the bland room into a spook-fest, complete with a bloody footstep runner leading in from the front door, rats running riot, various themed lights dotted around, table settings complete with monster hands and a ghostly pumpkin, and a last-minute burst of inspiration with a sign written in "blood" so people knew to help themselves to drinks!

Even the toilets got a bit of a makeover with my purchase of a sticker that you put in the toilet bowl making it look like a zombie hand coming out!

Just before the party started, we brought in the ice hand to go in the witches brew (complete with gummy snakes) and the fab "wedding cake" made by madmumof7 was put in pride of place!

Witches brew or vodka & orange test tube shots anyone?!

Me and madmumof7

Mad cake!

Needless to say, I had a fantastic night and all my efforts were well worth it!






This year I had wanted to do the same again but host it in our house, but unfortunately lots of people couldn't make the date (it was half term) so, once numbers were confirmed, I realised I could turn it into more of a Halloween dinner party. Having already purchased a pretend menu board for the kitchen, I set to work googling the list just to see what I could cook and conveniently found recipes for every item listed!






One of my friends who is amazingly good at cake-making had already offered to make me a Halloween cake which fitted in perfectly with the menu too!









With Pinterest in hand, I referred back to already pinned decor ideas and set to work on mummy tea lights, bloody candles and spooky eyes (to put in the bushes outside!). The children helped put together small coffin cakes, jelly brains and assorted eyeballs, had great fun helping decorating the porch, living room and kitchen/diner ready for our guests, and seemed suitably impressed by my homemade decorations!

The table looked great bathed in candle light, with Blood Bites (cherry tomatoes soaked in vodka and tabasco sauce), pumpkin shaped bread rolls, Monster Claws (chicken strips), Halloween shaped crisps and Maggot Stew (beef with Orzo pasta!).
I also did a chocolate fountain with red food colouring to look like blood which was yum!
Everyone dressed up for the occasion, enjoyed the food, and lots of cackling was to be heard! It was hard work but I totally enjoyed myself - I love creative activities and cooking so I was in my element. My only problem now is what to do for next year.......

Disclaimer: All views and opinions are my own, I was not sponsored for this post

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Small Victories

Today, I was enjoying a well needed post lunch-duty sit down, and found myself smiling at the memory of the busy, noisy hour I had just spent with the 70 or so 4-11 year olds who attend my youngest children's school.

Some of my friends think I am quite mad to voluntarily look after other people's children, especially as there are a few who are, shall we say, "difficult"! (I say voluntarily, although I do get paid, but it's very minimum and certainly doesn't cover the cost of fuel to get me there and back in the middle of the day!)
I offered my services last year when the school was desperately asking if there were any parents who could help out at lunchtime, as, being such a small school, they were relying on the current teachers which meant they never had a break in the school day. The school secretary couldn't have been more grateful when I offered my services, practically weeping with joy (well, perhaps that's a little exaggerated), so I signed up for two days with possibly a third when I could manage it (i.e. no coffee mornings, lunches out or shopping trips already arranged).

DD's first day of school

As I have mentioned before, I really do love children, and as my oldest two had already left this wonderfully unique and beautifully located small village school I realised this was an ideal way to be a fly on the wall and see how my youngest two interacted in their school environment and with their friends.







My first few months were in the winter period so I spent quite a few days standing in the windy playground, wrapped up in numerous layers, gloves, scarves and hats, wondering to myself what on earth had I been thinking and longing for my open fire, blanket, and a warm beverage of choice!
However, I loved seeing my kids playing with their friends, I felt comfortable in this very familiar environment from many previous years of school runs and events, the familiar faces of all the teachers who had taught my older two, and getting to know their teachers on a different level than that of just parent and teacher.

When winter turned into spring, it was lovely being outside watching the children running about, playing football, making up games and using their imagination. Some days everyone seemed to be falling out with their friends, coming to tell tales on someone else, complaining about name-calling or that they were being left out, so I spent the whole time trying to reason with each party. Other days, everyone would be injuring themselves and I would spend the whole time patching up grazed knees and elbows or applying face packs to various bruised areas! One of my friends who volunteered to help at the same time found my type of first-aid highly amusing when she overhead me saying to a child "Just give it a rub, it'll be fine", but in my defence I was merely treating them as I would one of my own, and unless it was broken or bleeding then there wasn't much else you could do! I also learnt through my own children how to judge if an injury was serious - if the screaming hasn't stopped after five minutes or the child still seems in pain then they may need more attention! Usually the promise of a plaster, a wet paper towel or an ice-pack did the trick.  It also seemed the minute I was dealing with someone's quarrel or injury, then something was kicking-off elsewhere! These days were exhausting and I counted the minutes until we could ring the bell and get everyone in!

Showing off their hats in the playground

However, some days were very enjoyable, especially when the weather warmed up in the summer term. We were able to take the children onto the field which meant less chance of injury as they fell on
soft grass instead of hard concrete. Everyone seemed to be in a better mood as the sun shone and it was lovely seeing all the different groups of friends making daisy chains or collecting treasures or just running around in the open space.  Of course, this was England so we had our fair share of showers too, but even that wasn't so bad in summer.

The new school year brought new faces to the school in reception, and I had fun learning all the new children's names. Last year was easier though, as most of the children starting were younger siblings of children I already knew and had seen them coming up to the playground with Mum to pick up their older brother or sister. This year, a greater number of school age children in the area meant an overflow from nearby villages coming to our school so I didn't recognise any of them and had a lovely challenge on my hands of getting to know their names!

On the first week back I noticed one new starter was having a really tough time with his new routine. He was clinging to his teacher not letting her go as she tried to have her lunch and cried when she attempted to leave him to play in the playground. He looked so lost and alone, my heart went out to him, and I could see his teacher was struggling as she desperately needed a break to prepare for the afternoon. So I gently approached him with a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, introduced myself and reassured him that it was all right, Miss would be back after lunch. I took his hand and said he could stay with me, answering his numerous questions through his sobbing about when Miss would be back, when playtime would be over and when it was home time.
I learnt he was half Swedish and that English was his second language, which must have made it even harder for him, so I patiently repeated the answers to the same questions, pointing to the clock and using it to confirm the times. I didn't let go of his hand even when other children needed me so he wouldn't feel abandoned again, and I chatted about my being a mum to two of my own children in the school and pointing them out, asking if he had any brothers or sisters, and eventually he calmed down and stopped crying. He still asked the same questions but I simply repeated the answers until he could trust me. It was a long half an hour but I was pleased for him when the bell finally went and I could show him that I was telling the truth about when the end of playtime was.

The next time I was on duty, I made a bee-line for him to say hello. He was still very upset and crying but I assured him that I would stay with him and, although he still cried and asked the same questions, he calmed down a lot quicker this time.

After that, he began to improve over the next few weeks when I saw him, with not so many tears, and then last week I noticed there were no tears, result! He still needed reassurance that I would stay with him and that he would see his teacher after playtime, but at least he let her go and seemed happy to stay with me instead.
Even though I hadn't volunteered for playground duty particularly to help settle in new children, it was an unexpected bonus to know I had helped a child get through their first few difficult weeks of school and that they had emerged more confident and reassured. I hope when he is older he will have good memories of those first few weeks instead of feeling traumatised.
Now my next challenge is to encourage him to play with some of his classmates and make friends, but I am sure he'll get there eventually!

Hindsight's a wondrous thing!

For the next couple of months I am helping out my cousin with childcare to fill in the gap before a "proper" childminder can take on her daughter of 17 months. I had already helped out after her daughter was born, an ideal opportunity to see if I would be any good at being a post-natal doula (see more about that here: Like Riding a Bike), so I was very pleased to be able to become a part of her life again.

M with Daddy

She's a lovely girl, very laid back, thoughful, interested in the world around her, and a great eater (parents of fussy eaters like my DS1 will appreciate how crucial that is!). Her Dad is African so she has the most amazing curly hair and when mum puts bows or hair bands in she looks super cute! She loves interacting with my kids who all adore her and fight over who plays with her before and after school. She's slightly nervous around DH but that's understandable, he can look a bit scary (sorry, dear!). And I have learnt that sudden loud noises or unexpected people turning up can upset her so I make sure I'm on hand for a cuddle.

She's not walking yet but can be quite speedy with her bottom-shuffling, and she can climb up and down sofas with ease so can reach most of what she wants without help. I kept two boxes of baby toys for my friends with children of a younger age and she loves pottering about in them. Mostly, I let her do her own thing whilst I'm in the room (she's currently tearing apart an empty cereal box whilst I type this!) as I am a firm believer of allowing children to explore as long as it's safe, they are being watched, and are not destroying anything precious! There is Lego in the room but we made a barrier with a table and chairs and it works surprisingly well with both babies and toddlers - my kids would be very sad if their Lego town got destroyed! My cousin's daughter, fortunately, doesn't appear to be one of those children who puts everything in their mouth (although I would never assume and leave her alone with anything small) but it's better to be safe than sorry so the Lego, marbles and anything else is put up high or behind the barrier.
Although my three boys were close in age (18 months between them), there was a 4 year difference between DS3 and DD so I have learnt a few tricks on how to have different age appropriate toys in the same room. However, I love to make friends go "euww" when I relate the tale of when DD swallowed the little Lego flowers which made it back into the collection after a couple of days!

Anticipation, I find, is the key - if you can anticipate what a child may grab/pull over/fiddle with then you can be ahead of the game and remove anything that might be dangerous before an accident occurs.

This is not to say that I watch her every minute of the day, but if I am in the next room then I keep checking on her regularly. And if it goes quiet then I definitely need to check! I remember when DS1 was M's age I had left him playing in his bedroom whilst I cleaned the bathroom. Chuffed with the end result of my now gleaming bathroom, I walked into his room to find him coated in Sudocrem nappy cream! It was all over the carpet as well as his clothes and an absolute nightmare to clean (I may have binned his clothes) but he had thoroughly enjoyed himself!

My prima donna!

On another occasion more recently I had left DH in charge when I was out for the day, and upon returning noticed DD was missing. "She's upstairs" DH nochanantly explained, to which I nervously enquired for how long, already heading towards the stairs. My fears were confirmed when I found DD happily playing with my make-up bag,
delighted to have been given the chance, uninterrupted, to have free rein on all of Mummy's collection. Pencil tips were nicely mashed, eye-shadows were all blended into one, and an array of colours now featured on my bedding - I was not happy! After removing it all out of reach, I hastened downstairs to inform DH of the golden rule - always check on quiet children! I think he was just glad of the peace...

As much as I like to treat M as one of my own, there are certain things I don't do because she's not my child. I certainly don't do much cleaning! I probably spend more time with her, but then I only have her twice a week and she goes home at 5.30pm so I like to make the most of it. I'm imagining this is what being a grandparent will be like! I know that anything needing doing in the house can be tackled on the other days in the week and will be a lot easier without any children about, but I used to have to do it all when my own children were young. I have to admit that I have quickly gotten used to not having any interruptions now when I'm pottering about at home, and I seemed to have forgotten very easily how demanding young children can be. It's only now having M twice a week that I am reminded of those years past and appreciate what a tough job we stay-at-home parents have!

Now, when I am tackling any household chore, I can start whenever I am ready without having to clock watch in case it is nearly time for a child's meal/pick up or drop off at nursery/school - usually there was never enough time to actually finish the chore! I can put on some music or watch a tv programme and go off into my own little world, instead of constantly checking on children or being interrupted with choruses of "Mummy!" I can choose to finish the job even if my tummy is rumbling, instead of knowing I'll need to prepare some lunch for midday so there is time for the child to have an afternoon nap before fetching an older sibling otherwise we'll slip into the danger area of younger child falling asleep before tea and then not wanting to go to bed at a reasonable hour! I also don't need to stop to help a child with a snack/drink/putting on a dressing up outfit/reaching something as now all of mine are pretty much capable of doing everything themselves, and if DD needs help there is usually a useful older brother to hand!

Sometimes in the afternoon I often need a quick power nap (to recover from an interrupted night's sleep or the mad morning rush), but when mine were young I had to do it when they were asleep, which didn't always coincide with when I felt tired. I used to snuggle on the sofa with DD after lunch and, more often than not, she'd fall asleep just as I was giving up on getting 40 winks and be wide awake again. The midwife's mantra of "you sleep when the baby sleeps" is not always easy!

M does not do naps, much like DS2, so if I am particularly tired (which is normally Mondays - the early morning rush is a bit of a shock to the system!), I can only manage a lie-down on the sofa whilst watching her play. This means a very early night later for me, and DH wonders why I am going to bed so early.

The day really goes by quickly when I have M - after the school run we pop to the local supermarket, which she loves and is very well behaved, so we get back home around 10am.









I never have time for breakfast before school so will give her a snack when we get back whilst I tuck into a bowl of cereal. Then we'll have a play and if she's happy I'll do a bit of clearing-up in the kitchen or work on the computer in the playroom with her. I always used to feed mine lunch at midday so do the same with her, and I try to eat something at the same time as I always thought it was nicer to eat together. Of course, I can eat my lunch in about 5 minutes flat but you have to be patient with children so lunch can take half an hour! Fortunately, M's Mum gives me a lovely selection of organic pre-prepared lunch pots which are microwaveable so it doesn't take long to heat up. The variety and quality of baby foods now is amazing, much better than when mine were young, and look and taste homemade. As I said before, M is an excellent eater and will try anything so it's very easy feeding her. Having had a mix of good eaters and bad with my own (DS1 would only eat plain rice and pasta for his first three years and DS2 ate everything in sight) I know only too well how rare this is! After lunch and I have cleared up, we might pop to another Mum's for a cuppa, which is not only good for M to mix with other children, but good for me as they entertain her! I can see the difference now from the days when I would pop round on my own and those when I have M - I had forgotten how difficult it was to drink a cup of tea without having to put it down (up high!) or be able to offer assistance to my friend as I have M on my lap. Since all mine went to school, I have gotten used to being able to help my friends with their little ones as I know how hard it is juggling everything, so it was weird to be right back there, chasing round after M and making sure she was fed/watered whilst leaving my friends to it.

I then take M on the school run again and we're back home by about 4pm. Time for a snack and a drink and playtime (this time my children take over entertaining so I can enjoy a bit of peace!) before Dad comes to fetch M around 5.30pm. 

When she's gone, we miss her, but I can see how much easier it is without her. Parenting when they're young really is a 24 hour job - not every day, but it can be. I try to instil a routine but on a day-to-day basis there are always changes. They keep us on our toes - always having to second guess their needs, demanding our attention, changing their likes and dislikes. 

Having this time with M has made me value my child-free time and finally appreciate how hard I worked when my kids were young. I was always feeling guilty that I didn't do enough and couldn't understand why I felt constantly tired, but now looking back I see that looking after the children was the hardest job I have ever done. 

There are still busy times with the kids now but at least I get a breather in the day and some time to myself. I refuse to feel guilty about having lunches out and seeing my friends as I know the evenings will be mad busy, as are the mornings. And I wish I understood see then what I can understand now so I spent less time worrying about everything else and more time focussing on and enjoying time with the kids!

My tribe

Disclaimer: As always, all views are unbiased and my own 

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Gaming Technology - Friend or Foe?!

During the holidays and even now the children are back to school, I seemed to be enduring constant battles and negotiations about whether the kids can play on their games and for how long, so I thought I would write a post about it to see if other parents were having the same quandry. 

If I was talking about board games or make-believe or indeed any game involving some sort of sports equipment, then I wouldn't hesitate to say yes to their demands, but I am of course referring to the new generation's obsession with computer gaming.

Iphone and Ipad (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 (Photo credit: jisc_infonet)

PC's, Xbox's, PS's, ipod's, ipad's, mini ipad's, laptops....I am sure there are others but these are the main ones that my children play on, and with each machine there comes many, many different games.

I remember when I got my first smart phone and was amazed at the quality of the games you could download directly onto the phone, and the speed that they appeared, ready to play. I loved the fact that if I was ever caught somewhere having to wait, I could fish out my phone and wile away the minutes (or hours!), completely absorbed. As my children got past toddler stage, I then realised it became a marvellous distraction device to keep them happy whilst we waited for food at a restaurant, or an appointment at the doctors, or simply at a friend's house so I could have an actual grown-up conversation! Being my mobile phone meant I always had it with me so it was so easy.

As my eldest reached double figures, the new ipod touch was available, and, as that meant he could play on all the games I had on my phone but on his own device, I was more than happy that he spent his Christmas and birthday money on one. DS2 soon followed, DS3 got his first at an earlier age simply because his brothers already had them and he was left out, and now I am only left negotiating with DD as to what age she will be allowed one (she's currently only 6)!

But the build-up towards the devices and games they play on now from when they were small seems very gradual.

Before the ipod/ipad revolution, we had a Playstation 1 and then 2 when DS1 and 2 were babies/toddlers (DH is a keen gamer), so when they were old enough there were lots of film related games available, such as Monsters Inc and The Simpsons, that they loved. We also had PC games but the PC's never lasted very long before getting itself tied up in knots with viruses and ceasing to work, but the boys did enjoy playing a few games on disks for a while. Various laptops were bought cheaply but again never lasted very long without having to be wiped and reinstalled so they soon lost interest. 

DH loving his new apple mac

About five years ago, my mum very generously bought DH an apple mac laptop and when we were so impressed with, it she bought me a matching one! 

It has never gone wrong, never needed the hard drive cleaning or servicing and never run slow. The kids use it for their homework and playing Minecraft and the odd internet game, and I of course use it for blogging now! 

DH bought an Xbox and the games were not really suited to younger children so they played more on their ipods and then Mummy's ipad (lovely Christmas present from DH, thanks very much!). By this time, DD was old enough to master some of the games so I had a folder of games for each child which then expanded over onto my ipad as well! After several annoying occasions when I was constantly being asked for my phone or ipad to play on, last year we decided to buy them an ipad mini to share, and I gleefully removed all the kids' games from my devices and got loads of memory back for more of my games!

DS3 enjoying my ipad!

Writing down our own technical advancement into gaming is quite interesting, I can't believe how many systems we have owned over the years! 

There's no doubt the gaming industry has improved so much since the children were young, but because of the high entertainment and quality value now, they could play all day if I let them! 

Nowadays, they only play specific games on their ipods/ipad mini, mainly Celtic Heroes, but they will do it for hours! They can play with their friends in this virtual world (think Big Bang Theory!), sometimes "talking" on-line or even using Skype when playing Minecraft to discuss what to build. I found it slightly eerie hearing an unfamiliar voice barking out instructions all of a sudden as I wandered through the playroom, with DS2 warning said friend that Mum was in the room so watch what you say! I kept asking why they didn't invite the actual friend over for a play but bizarrely they never took up the suggestion. 

DS2 likes watching You Tube videos and checking Facebook as well, and will often "do a Daddy", which is to disappear to the toilet for ages with a device of choice! 

DS3 will play more of a variety of games and try out new ones with his sister or friends but he also has recently got into Celtic Heroes and I hear him joining in the game-related conversations with his brothers, which to me sounds like a foreign language! 

DD enjoys The Sims Freeplay and some tree game (?) and there's a whole host of girlie dressing up games, but at the moment is also as happy to watch tv or play real games with her brother! 

The older two now play a lot on the Xbox as well and link up with their friends and virtual "friends", even using a headset. 

Now, I admit that I too enjoy gaming, and will regularly play on one or two games on my ipad. I am appreciative of the graphics of games nowadays, how real it all looks, how you move about virtual settings is so much fun and the scope of what you can do is truly amazing. I get how enjoyable it is and understand why my kids love it. What I have a bug bear about is the amount of time they spend on said games. What is a reasonable time? Half an hour? An hour? Two hours?! As I have said, left to their own devices, my oldest two would play all day! Sometimes, I am happy for them to play as it suddenly becomes a very quiet household. When I get together in the holidays with two other Mums and their kids, there are 13 children between us so to let them game together means we can have a proper chat! 

I also use gaming as a good reward if they do as they're asked. Never have I seen my boys shower, dress and brush teeth so quick when there is a promise of a go on the games afterwards! Rooms get cleaned in record time, extra chores are enthusiastically undertaken and silly behaviour ceases immediately when a ban on games is threatened!

But despite the positives, I still feel a limit needs to set, I don't want my children's lives wasted on constant game playing. They should have it as a part of their life, an afterthought when other activities have been exhausted, not the one thing everything else revolves around. I know through experience that hours will pass unwittingly when using technology, and everything else is forgotten, and even when you come off the game, the brain takes time to adjust back to real life again.

So after some deliberation, DH and I have decided that gaming is not allowed at all during a school week, and at the weekend they are allowed an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, with another short go on their ipods after dinner. This may sound a bit harsh, but we had tried letting them play in the week after homework had been completed and bags packed for the next day, but they rushed the homework and became unfocussed on school work so equipment and PE kits were left behind!

It was difficult as they moaned and complained that all their friends were allowed to play as much as they liked, but we felt as parents we had to encourage them to find alternative activities and, once they knew we were not backing down, they got used to it and have become interested in their drawing and a bit of Lego building again. A couple of times, they have even gone to their rooms for a nap as they realised how tired they were, something that gaming doesn't help! The bags under their eyes are receding, their temperament is much better, and DS2 hasn't sleepwalked all week!

As with all things in life, it seems a good balance of everything really does work!

My boys doing something other than gaming!

Disclaimer: I have not been paid for this post, all views are my own and unbiased

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Smurf On!

Last weekend, I took my two youngest to Covent Garden, London, to watch the new Smurfs movie, a complimentary viewing for a select number of bloggers and their families supplied by Jakks Pacific to launch their new Smurf-tastic toy range. This was my first experience of a blogging event and I was very much looking forward to it.

DD was so excited, she kept asking every day for two weeks since I told her we were going if today was the day! When I shook her gently awake on Sunday morning at stupid o'clock (we had to catch the 7.30am train in order to arrive in time for our special showing), the first thing she said upon opening her eyes was "we're going to see the Smurfs" and literally bounced out of bed!

Smurftastic!

Having carefully laid out her white clothes and Smurf hat chosen especially for the viewing, she was dressed and ready for her Smurfy adventure! Once we had met up with my friend and her family (madmumof7), she was even game for a bit of blue facepaint!

When we had all gathered on the platform to wait for our train, it was quite a sight - it looked like a Smurf takeover!

An unusual sight

A quick train ride and we arrived in London Euston in record time. The excitement built as we hopped on the infamous London Underground and the children enjoyed another train ride. (Despite living so close to London, we don't visit our buzzing capital that often so it was a fun trip for the adults too!)

As we exited the Underground and walked towards the cinema, I marvelled at the quietness of the streets - I have never seen London so calm (not surprising as it was only 8.30am and a Sunday morning!) and I loved it. I made a mental note to plan to come again at the same time and watch the bustling city gradually awake, breezing into cafe's and shops as they opened their doors.

After stopping for a quick coffee & toilet break, it was time to join the other Smurfs. It was great to see the other bloggers' families dressed in a variety of Smurf costumes, including an adorable Smurf baby and a very cute Papa Smurf!

When the doors opened, we were greeted enthusiastically by blue-haired hostesses and bespectacled hosts with lots of oohs and aahs as they saw the children's costumes.
They engaged the children in animated conversations whilst the parents confirmed our arrival, and then invited us to choose a drink, bag of popcorn and bag of sweets each for the movie.

When we were led into the theatre, a Benny Hill scene played out as we shuffled our party of 10 in one row, found it didn't seat all of us, shuffled into another, swopped seats around so the kids sat next to their friend of choice, and then just before the movie started most of the kids moved to the front row leaving the adults spaced far apart!

Being a Smurf fan from an early age myself and enjoying the first Smurf movie, I was looking forward to watching number 2 almost as much as the kids, and I'm pleased to say I wasn't disappointed. It was a great family movie with laugh-out-loud moments, even for the adults, and a lovely moral-of-the-story ending. The animation was amazing and my children have never kept so still and quiet.

Getting to watch the movie was a fantastic invitation on its own, but the fun didn't stop when the credits started rolling. Enter the blue haired ladies and bespectacled men again to further entertain the children with fun and games in the after-movie party!

Fantastically organised, the children were divided into groups, making sure families and friends were together, and led to one of the fun activities. Our group's first was a treasure hunt where DS3 found the first hidden smurf toy, then a photo with Smurfette, a science lesson in making Smurf juice, and lastly a chance for the kids to peek into Smurf world.










We also got a chance to look at the Jakks Pacific toy range and I noticed lots of children's eyes light up as they saw them.

Once every group had taken part in each activity, it was time to announce the winner of the best dressed Smurf, but generously there was not one prize but four! The runners up got a selection of figures and playsets from the Jakks toy range and although my children didn't win, I was very pleased to see my friend's daughter receive a prize. She couldn't wait to get it home and was already playing with it when I popped round her house half an hour after we got back!

Every child also received a party bag when we left with a Smurf figure and other bits and pieces, so everyone was a winner,  and DD was very pleased to find a Smurfette in hers!

Many thanks to Corinna Henson of @nortonandco for inviting us and making it a totally Smurf-tastic day for everyone!

Smurf On!

Disclaimer I was not employed to write this review and all the opinions are honest and my own